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#4 SILAT
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Country of Origin: Malaysia
Malaysia has always been a brutalized country. Pirates, Portuguese, the British, and even the Japanese in WWII have long seen the country as the coolest hunk of land to own in the South Pacific. That really pissed the Malaysians off. So, instead of playing France and whining about it, they invented silat, then later added in stuff they learned from all the guys who invaded them.
Are you seeing a pattern here? To get kick-ass martial arts, you just need a country that's been in lots and lots of wars.
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Many martial arts gurus cite spiritual enlightenment and a quest of self-perfection as the goal of their study, but not silat. Early silat masters developed their martial art solely for the purpose of beating the piss out of invaders. The style is typically marked with a lightning quick attack style designed to close on your opponent as quickly as possible, beat the hell out of him within 10 seconds, then finish him with a hammer blow to the face, throat, or kidney.
The honor and fairness are thrown out the window in favor of fighting dirty and exploiting weakness. They even encourage nut shots. As a counter, all silat students are put through a training regimen that involves having people break bricks on your ribs and bend iron bars around your neck to build up pain tolerance.
Silat in Action:
Below is an example of one of the dirty moves commonly used in silat, as taught by The History Channel.
Yes, in one lightning-fast movement, the silat master puts you on your back and crushes your ribcage.
Wait, it gets worse. The most brutal version of silat is taught in the jungle by a guy who learned it by having the crap beaten out of him from the ages 7 to 10 by his master. Did we mention he spent all three years in a pitch black cave where he couldn't even see the inside of his eyelids? Unlike those Shaolin wussbags, his years of training did not teach him restraint and enlightenment, but rather how to tear the flesh off his enemies with his bare freaking hands.
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There's also a weapon associated with silat, the kris. It's a wavy knife used with quick, stabbing motions aimed at soft spots on the body. Oh, also, one of the most deadly neurotoxins in the world is smelted directly into the metal and that just a scratch is enough to kill you within seconds. You pretty much have to hope the wielder accidentally stabs himself, though he could still kill you barehanded before the poison got him.
www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/martial_arts/silat4.jpg" alt=""/>
www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/martial_arts/silat.jpg" alt=""/>Country of Origin: Malaysia
Malaysia has always been a brutalized country. Pirates, Portuguese, the British, and even the Japanese in WWII have long seen the country as the coolest hunk of land to own in the South Pacific. That really pissed the Malaysians off. So, instead of playing France and whining about it, they invented silat, then later added in stuff they learned from all the guys who invaded them.
Are you seeing a pattern here? To get kick-ass martial arts, you just need a country that's been in lots and lots of wars.
www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/martial_arts/silat3.jpg" alt=""/>Many martial arts gurus cite spiritual enlightenment and a quest of self-perfection as the goal of their study, but not silat. Early silat masters developed their martial art solely for the purpose of beating the piss out of invaders. The style is typically marked with a lightning quick attack style designed to close on your opponent as quickly as possible, beat the hell out of him within 10 seconds, then finish him with a hammer blow to the face, throat, or kidney.
The honor and fairness are thrown out the window in favor of fighting dirty and exploiting weakness. They even encourage nut shots. As a counter, all silat students are put through a training regimen that involves having people break bricks on your ribs and bend iron bars around your neck to build up pain tolerance.
Silat in Action:
Below is an example of one of the dirty moves commonly used in silat, as taught by The History Channel.
Yes, in one lightning-fast movement, the silat master puts you on your back and crushes your ribcage.
Wait, it gets worse. The most brutal version of silat is taught in the jungle by a guy who learned it by having the crap beaten out of him from the ages 7 to 10 by his master. Did we mention he spent all three years in a pitch black cave where he couldn't even see the inside of his eyelids? Unlike those Shaolin wussbags, his years of training did not teach him restraint and enlightenment, but rather how to tear the flesh off his enemies with his bare freaking hands.
www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/martial_arts/silat2.jpg" alt=""/>There's also a weapon associated with silat, the kris. It's a wavy knife used with quick, stabbing motions aimed at soft spots on the body. Oh, also, one of the most deadly neurotoxins in the world is smelted directly into the metal and that just a scratch is enough to kill you within seconds. You pretty much have to hope the wielder accidentally stabs himself, though he could still kill you barehanded before the poison got him.
www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/martial_arts/silat4.jpg" alt=""/>